Chapter Nine: Jill and the Chess Club President.

Let's contrive another very unlikely example: Jill's heart has NEVER been broken, and the Chess Club President plays ALL his cards right. They share a perfect candle lit dinner at McDonald's and discuss world affairs, and the way the third lane at the bowling alley tends to curve left, making it easier to get strikes. In an unguarded moment he shares with her his secret passion for Computer Network Interface Cards, and how he wants to eventually become the sole provider of Network Interface Cards on the West Coast, including Silicon Valley in the South, and Microsoft in Seattle Washington in the North. Well, this presents Jill with a terrible dilemma. How does she let him down easy? Fortunately for us, this example is unlikely and contrived and Jill is hit with a brainstorm. She is honest with Mr. Chess Club President, in the following fashion. She tells him that he has been nicer to her than any Chess Club President ever before, and she had a perfectly wonderful time at McDonald's, but Network Interface Cards mean absolutely nothing to her. She would rather watch baby Alligators break out of their shell at the Zoo, and give immunization shots to the Rocky Mountain Billy Goats. BUT she doesn't quit there. She gives him her REAL telephone number, safe in supposing he probably won't use it, and tells him it would be fun to get together now and then, but not seriously. She kisses him goodnight, and is pleasantly surprised to find that he doesn't smoke. End of Example.

In real life, a Chess Club President would probably be her slave for life at this point. 15 years from now, when she needs 50,000 NIC cards for all the Zoos in Africa where she is working as head Zoologist, he will move heaven and earth to have them there for her at bottom dollar.

But allowing for the pitiful dating life of the average Chess Club President, Jill's problem is about to become very thorny indeed. He DOES use the phone number. REPEATEDLY. Every time he can't get a date, she is his under-valued fall back. Dick doesn't know it isn't serious, and she becomes “marked territory.” The Chess Club President becomes a sort of “Dating JASON/FREDDY” to Jill. This is a terrible situation for Jill, but also not the desired result for the Chess Club President. If he doesn't move on, he'll never find out if Jane deeply yearns for a future Network Card King, and time isn't waiting for either of them. To his great misfortune, Jack (The Captain of the Football Team,) makes his move on Jane.

Up to this point, let's just be sorry for Jill, and remember that she has been a perfect friend to everybody so far.