Chapter Twelve: What's worse, Disease or Pregnancy?

First off, disease means someone was having sex before. Dick is our hero and must end up with Jill, so Jane has to bite the dust here. Can you imagine any way she doesn't bitterly hate the nameless guy who gave her syphilis? Now Dick was an idiot to get carried away and not use a condom, but seriously, who wears those things? When the magical event is just about to go down, Jane had a problem on her hands just like in Chapter 10. As she succumbed to his advances, every sexual response is associated with a self loathing that she doesn't have the courage to tell Dick she is not currently available. No one particularly blames her, I mean look what he went through, just on the off chance he could gain her favor? Dick is no virgin... he lost it in the tenth grade to his baby brother's baby sitter, but he hasn't been humping the furniture between lusty encounters. He's been keeping it in his pants, and treating women with respect. Jane just knows that if she puts “love” on hold it will be the end of the relationship. Maybe he won't get syphilis. Even if he does, maybe he'll understand somehow.

So when does she tell him? “Oh Dick, look for it to start burning when you urinate in a week or so. I was saving it for a surprise!” “Oh Dick, I kept meaning to tell you, I want to rub it in your face that you're getting someone else's leavings!” If Jane couldn't screw up the courage to tell a doctor, there is no way Dick is finding out from her in any way. He has no idea, and when it starts to burn, it doesn't matter who he tells. Dad in the head, straight to a school nurse, or a buddy at a ball game (where Jack leads the Fighting Cougars to victory.) Whenever and however the realization hits him, in that moment he is belittled and betrayed. Someone else was there, and recently. (It doesn't matter if it was recently or not – the evidence is brand new.) Jane couldn't be bothered to tell him: Does she love this other guy more? Why couldn't she share something like this with him? He feels like he could do chin ups on a sewer grate.

He hates Jane just as much as she hates the guy that gave it to her. Now they are both equal in some ways. They have both been badly betrayed by a member of the opposite sex. The have both been humiliated and had infidelity rubbed in their faces. But chances are this common experience is not going to be a bonding experience that leads them both to want to share new and more exotic sexually transmitted diseases.

The lessons we went over in Chapter Three as this relationship dies a horrible death are etched so indelibly on the brain they may as well be branded there. How much life will pass Dick by before he trusts another girl that way? When will Jane ever learn that ALL GUYS are not deserters, who ditch you at the first sign of trouble?

I think we can all agree that sex was a bad idea in this example.